Death of a Salesman

A bag of books and 19yrs of life is what he came with. He had truth nailed to his tongue and determination fixed in his eyes. But most importantly his friend “vision” accompanied him, wherever he went. Mark Pereira didn’t really care like you and me, whether he had fine clothing or expensive watches. All he ever wanted to do is contribute.
His acquaintance with his destiny began when Father Brian introduced him to a couple of missionaries who had ideas of setting up a school for primary education. It wasn’t after very long that Mr. Pereira realized that, there were many more students from the same village who didn’t need just education, they needed more than that. It was after much convincing that he was allowed to extend his school to an orphanage for the less privileged children. This wasn’t easy, funds were required, facilities had to be arranged, legal permission had to be organized.
Mr. Pereira didn’t seem mind the hard work. He was happy when his children were. That was all that mattered. Though he wanted to help them all, he couldn’t due to lack space. He was constantly making an effort to place these children, in good foster homes. Admissions happened twice as fast as placements. A few complaints, a thousand joyous moments.
It was around this time when one morning, baby Tina was found at doorstep, loudly wailing. She was the most beautiful girl, Mr. Pereira had ever seen. Her cheeks were pink and she had the smallest curled up fingers. There were many parents who selected her, but he rejected all their applications saying that none of them were special enough.
Tina grew beautifully. She was sweet and she loved her “Peru uncle”. She made paper planes, mud cakes, leaf bouquets just for him. She played the role of a daughter he never had. He at times would stop and wonder whether he was ever going to give her up. But he had always known, he had to.
It was a sad Tuesday, when one of the trustees himself found a foster home for Tina. Mr. Pereira tried hard to change the trustees mind, but couldn’t manage to. He felt depressed and lonely. He got into a feeling that had never ever crossed his mind before. He couldn’t bear that Tina would be bought from him. He thought of her as his doll, who he had clothed, washed and take care of. He had brushed her hair and had fed her with his own hands. She was his creation. His product. And he was letting her go. In his mind, a Salesman, that’s what, he was.
She left in the dress he had gifted her on her birthday. She looked real special in pink. He remembered the time she was told that she had to leave. She had cried just the way she had in the morning he had found her. He smiled at the irony. Now, she was waiving from the glass window of the moving car. The deal was made, signed and closed.
He sulked for two nights together; no sleep seemed to come close anymore. He wondered whether little Tina was happy, whether she had said her prayers, whether she was being tucked into bed just as he used to and most of all whether she missed him at all.
He had stopped admitting students. He tried hard to find homes for the ones still in the home. He didn’t succeed. For it wasn’t easy to conduct the “trade”, without the demand. Nothing had particularly changed yet everything had. He was dead inside.
It was the 5th day after Tina had left. Mr. Pereira was seated in his office staring into his papers, when he heard a familiar cry. Tina was back. His heart leaped. At the door, Tina stood with her new parents. He noticed that she broke from the lady’s grip and ran right into his arms. The lady’s voice tore his thoughts. She said,” Tina insisted that, we should meet you. She often talks of you.” Tina continued, “ I love my new home, my new clothes and my parents are the best in the world”.
That’s when it struck him. That very statement. She loved “Her Parents”. He wasn’t the parent as he had always secretly hoped, he’d be. She was never meant to stay. She had her own world now , a world without Uncle Peru. He understood that he did, what he did since it was his duty. His role in her life was to make sure that she fell into secure hands. And he performed his duty well.
He bid farewell to Tina, since that was the reason she was truly there for. A new ray emerged, Mr. Pereira wanted to be a changed man.
The next morning, the first thing he did was remove the no admission sign. He waited for more Tina’s to arrive realized that he was no salesman and he never ever would be one again. That’s where the salesman died.

Breeze

I am seeing the breeze
As it hits me after passing through certain streets,
And when I get distracted and try to move away
It dances and calls me back as an amusing prey.

Its presence brings back old memories,
The ones, which had us running around trees,
Now that I stare past the crease,
all I am left with is the cold breeze.

Pity it is, that you are of the past
for the aroma you carried seemed to last.
My hunger to see you never saw death,
Surprised I am that the breeze had carved it.

The feelings were deep, the pillows soft,
They are now all waiting, watching from the top,
They know for sure we are still together,
physically or not is not a bother.

I m not letting you go now or for never,
I always thought there would be a forever.
I wish things hadn't been covered in the cloth of sorrow
my eyes carried a pearl drop, looking for tomorrow

Hopelessly, I see you lying motionless,
Your simple face and all its gentleness.
I tried stopping them from taking you away,
For within me I knew in my heart,
That you wouldn't be able to stay,

They dint listen, and broke all my bangles,
Took away my bindi and left me in shambles.
Let not anyone go through all the distress,
I shuddered every time someone dawned my dress.

Today again the breeze has made a comeback,
Blowing all the pictures and memories in her sack,
I wonder whether the pain will ever cease
All I am left with is, the cold breeze.

Next step

Go away twilight,
For her dream, cannot end.
The horseman has not come yet,
Nor did the flowers descend.

She stood by her window,
The coal, intact.
Drapes pink honored her moves,
All ready to make him react.

Her friend, the sparrow,
Sang her a song.
She too sensed the anxiety,
She too wanted to belong.

Lily from the garden,
Passed her a scent.
Gave her a tinge of aroma,
Shook the feeling present.

Mirrors don’t lie,
But, one did, today.
Reflections marked pleasure,
But outside laid dismay.

Decor curtains, Marigolds displayed,
Signs set her astray.
Played with her future,
None answered, destiny may.

Moonlight defeated the yellow,
The little ones scrammed home.
New day awaited from scratch,
Would he come tomorrow, perhaps

I am..

I am a pebble in the mud,
A drop in the wide ocean,
A particle in the flowing wind,
Who has not an iota of a notion.

I’m often lost in pompous thoughts,
Of chateaus, champagnes and a whole lots,
Distant dreams that still haven’t found a door,
A step closer, and a fall a cent more.

Little choice do I have not to realize them,
For I realize, I share them with my world,
The world, who I share my treasures with,
Treasures or not, experiences they are.

Every time the mirror shows,
I stand on my toes,
Hoping I’ll see a bigger and better image,
If only that could happen….

Lilliput I maybe,
This does not stop me,
I m going to make it, I know
I’ll soon stand tall and show.

I am a pebble in the mud,
A drop in the wide ocean,
A particle in the flowing wind,
Who has not an iota of a notion.