Number One

“Yes papa…I’m coming” I would say as I would run from my study table to attend to his morning chores. It either was his socks, his wallet or his belt. There was always a call at 10 mins before 8.30a.m. That’s when he left for work.

Papa is a very strict man. For him having a daughter is like keeping jewellery in the bank locker. He was very careful in bringing me up. He wouldn’t let me out alone later than 9.If it ever happened that my tuitions left late, he would tell me to call and inform. In fact it a similar reason, some time back that he got me a phone, so that every minute of my time outside could be monitored.

I couldn’t figure whether it was he not trusting me or it was the happenings outside that troubled him, or both.

My patience ran out every time I heard of a friend throwing a party and every time I heard a friend describing how great a time she had “last” night.

There were times I wept and wet my pillow, asking god why he had to give me parents, who were so possessive. It tore me even more when I was considered responsible enough, to do homely chores but not responsible enough to stay out late.

Then one day there was notice put up. It was an announcement of a trek to a hill just outside the city. It was an overnight affair and as usual all my friends got talking about it. I didn’t bother. It wasn’t worth the entire process and pain just to hear the dark, evil word again.

It was the day before the trek, that my friend got the form and told me to give it a shot. My younger sister was also persistent that I shouldn’t give up hopes.

In the evening when papa entered, there were guests waiting to see him. The night moved as slowly as she could. Eventually after a drink papa settled down. After dinner, I walked up to him and placed the trek form and a pen in his lap.

Papa picked up the paper and read it completely. He read that I would have to be away the entire night with just one instructor and a few friends, he read that we had to assemble at the station at 12.45 in the night, he read that the form was meant to say that if any mishap took place it wouldn’t be the responsibility of the instructor. As the longest two minutes of my life passed, I stood as still as a candle. The form was given to Ma to read. She read it and gave it back to papa.

Neither did he say a word nor did he look at my face, all he did was sign.

I couldn’t believe it .He had finally let go. I didn’t utter a word, neither did he. He just walked past to his bedroom.

The next day as it was time to leave, I was all packed .Ma hugged and gave me my lunch. On the way, there was this instinct that I should call papa. I did and this time he asked all the details, each and every minute detail.

After I finished, there was a sense of excitement in me, which wasn’t there before. It slowly dawned on me how important his assent was to me. I wrote him an sms, in which I told him how much his permit meant to me. To which he replied, “ Beta, always remember, whatever I am, wherever I am, I will always love you and always want the best for you, you will be my no.1”

This blew me off completely. I didn’t want to go anymore. I noticed the scenery from the cab, seemed to blur. I immediately called up papa and told him I’m coming home and that I was really sorry to hurt him.

He calmed me down and said these words to me…these words, which I treasure till date. He said, “ My no.1 will do as she pleases. Go as far as you want, but there will always be a string to bring you back to me. And the string will be my love.”

With this, I confidently went to the station, enjoyed my time of freedom, and when I came back, I gave papa back his no.1.